Salene
Dee releases me, I back against the wall and slide down to a sitting position, feeling suddenly drained, Dee comes over and sits beside me, the flickering candle the only light in this dark room…
“I want to go home” I say quietly “I shouldn’t have come here”
“But why?” Dee asks
She doesn’t know mine and Ryan’s history… He was gone long before she and Patch joined the Mall Rats
“This was a big mistake” My voice shakes
“Talk to me, Sal” Dee says softly
“All I wanted was to be loved and needed, I had the hugest crush on Bray, he was with Trudy so I thought at the time, he was just her brother in law, then he was with Amber, I was a mess, I started to binge eat and throw up”
“The bulimia, you told me about that” Dee smiles softly
“Ryan, he was the one who pulled me through that” I sigh “He had the biggest crush on Zandra, she was crazy about Lex, we both had the feeling of not being enough and being rejected and we just sort of fell into a relationship, I ran away, thats when I found out I was pregnant, I only agreed to marry Ryan because of the baby, then when the chosen took over I joined them, I thought it was the only way to keep the baby safe especially with the lack of food and heavy work parties, Trudy promised I’d be safe, then the guardian told us the baby would have no other father but Zoot blah blah, Ryan was taken away but not before I had betrayed him and joined them…”
“Oh Sal” Dee sighs
“He was hurt, so bad, I did that to him, I upset and hurt him so much that he tried to kill the guardian the was taken away, I lost the baby soon after from a fall” I say “Luke said he would get word to Ryan but I refused and made Luke promise not to say anything”
“Do you think he knows about the baby?” Dee asks
“I don’t know, Alice was there, she knew I lost it but I don’t know if she would tell him” I sigh wiping my face
“Sal it was a long time ago” Dee offers “Alot’s changed since then”
“I know, but I still betrayed him and joined the Chosen after he begged me not too”
“I think he may have a few more surprises coming” Dee grins “You said he had a crush on Zandra?”
“Yeah”
“Did he know she… died?” Dee asks making air quotes
“Oh god” I say looking towards the door “Neither Lex or Ryan would know Zandra is alive”
I remember my own surprise when I first saw Amber after being told she was dead and then seeing Zandra today… They are in for a shock…