Our Secret Family [unbeta'd]

osf poster (kopia)
This was written back in 2013, or so. Back when I was more active in the fandom than I am today. It’s also still a work in progress, and who knows, I might end up finishing it one day.

There is also companion art to each chapter, because it’s something I think is fun to make. It is also usually what has inspired the chapters. And it also takes place during season one, so far. But it’s still an alternate universe story.
The first chaper will follow in the next post.

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TRUDYRYANprolouge (kopia)
It all started a few weeks after the virus had been discovered around the bigger cities. It was still believed that the country side was safe from the virus. I’d been sent to the country side by my parents to stay safe, sure I was safe, but not safe from boys. I was sent to an all girls’ school that funnily enough was located not that far from an all boys’ boot camp. From some of the classrooms I could see over the roofs of the houses that were surrounding the boot camp, which made it possible to see the boys all lined up.

“Girls listen up!” the teacher said as he had once again noticed that most of us girls were staring out the window. I turned my head and looked back up at the teacher. I was easily distracted by the boys.

“I wonder whose bright idea it was to locate all these girls next to the boys’ boot camp.” I heard the teacher mumble under his breath. I snickered. This didn’t go unnoticed by the teacher.

“Miss Taylor.” My teacher said firmly, as I tried to suffocate my snickering. It didn’t work too well.

“Detention for you Miss Taylor.” Mr. Dink, the teacher said. This made me frown. I didn’t want detention. I couldn’t really say I had anything to do, because I didn’t. I was trapped out here, in a school in the middle of nowhere. I almost swore, but stopped myself before I did, since that would just add more detention.

As the afternoon came I was sent down to the boys’ boot camp to clean the equipment they had. It really stunk. The only upside was that I had company by two of the boys.

“Looks like we’re getting company.” I heard one of the boys say to the other. The one who spoke had short cropped black hair and was smaller than the other boy. The other boy was burlier and bigger, and he had short cropped hair, but his was more blond brown.

“Hello.” The second boy said as I reached them.

“Hi.” I retorted, pretending I hadn’t heard them speak before.

“What you doing here?” the black haired one asked me.

“Detention.” Was all I said as I grabbed some of the cleaning supplies and got to cleaning one of the mats.

“What did you get detention for?” the one of the guys asked, since I had my back against them, I couldn’t tell who it was that spoke, so I just rolled my eyes as I went to cleaning the mat. It smelled awfully disgusting.

“Aren’t you gonna answer?” the boy asked again, I could tell that it was the same one on the voice. I shook my head for an answer.

“Leave it be Lex.” I figured that it was the other boy who said it, since he said leave it be, and if it had been him who had been asking he wouldn’t have told himself to leave it be.

“Fine.” Lex replied as he went back to whatever it was the two were cleaning.

“So what’s your name?” the boy whose name I didn’t know asked me when I had turned around so that I was facing the two. (Alexander (Lex) Morris and Ryan Jenkins, author’s note)

“Trudy Taylor.” I said smiling slightly and blushing slightly as I looked up at him.

“I’m Ryan Jenkins.” The burlier kid said and then mentioned to his friend and said “That’s Alexander Morris, but he goes by Lex.” I nodded and looked over at Lex then I went back to focusing on the stain on the mat.

Two hours had passed before my teacher came and fetched me. While we cleaned, me and Ryan spoke to each other about the most trivial things. Favorite color, and food. And things like it. We avoided the subject of the Virus and our parents. It seemed like neither of use wanted to speak of our parents. I thought it had to do with the fact that we didn’t know if they were alive or not.

“Miss Taylor, come now. You are to head straight for bed, without supper.” My teacher Mr. Dink said as he led me out of the room. The two boys remained quiet and I wondered why.

“That isn’t fair.” I said loudly to my teacher, responding to the fact that I wasn’t getting any dinner.

“Mouthing off, gives you two more hours of detention, tomorrow.” Mr. Dink said and I swore silently under my breath. I was starting to hate my teacher more and more. When I reached my bedroom I slumped down on the bed and pulled out my homework. I finished it in two hours, and it was eight pm. My roommate just entered the room, she had been sent here a lot sooner than I had. It was because she had lived closer to the town that had had the first cases of the Virus reported. My best friend how ever had the room next to mine. Her name’s Zandra, well her full name is Alexandra Renee Goldhart. Everyone calls her Zandra since she hates Alexandra. Her roommates name is Amber Martins, and is a friend of mine too, but she’s closer to Zandra since they’re sharing a room.

“Hey Trude.” Zandra said as she came waltzing in to the room. I smiled as I saw what she had in her hands. She had sneaked some bread with her out of the dining hall.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” I said several times as I hugged Zandra. I took the bread and ate it. It was better than nothing at all. I loved it that I had a bet friend who was smart enough to sneak food with her when she didn’t see me in the dining hall.

Me and Zandra chatted for a while, up until our boarding parents came and told us lights out.

The Next Morning

As we sat and ate breakfast together, our little group. Me, Zandra and Amber. One of our teachers came in and told us that more girls were arriving and that we’d have to share rooms, three in each room. I was stuck in my room with my roommate and one other girl I didn’t know. It bothered me that I wasn’t allowed to share a room with my friends. At least we had our classes together.

“Come on, let’s go to our English class.” I said to Zandra and Amber who both tagged along.

As Mr. Dink was speaking about viruses, Zandra was doing her make-up and told me to hold her mirror for her. Amber on the other hand, was paying attention to the teacher.

“Mr. Dink?” I heard Amber ask and listened to what Mr. Dink said.


“You spelled bacteria wrong. It’s spelled with a C not a K.” Amber pointed out as she scribbled it down in her notebook. “Mr. Dink, misspelled bacteria, with a K instead of a C.” I turned around and looked at Mr. Dink’s face. He was furious.

“Detention Miss Martins. The same goes for Miss Taylor and Miss Goldhart that are both doing their make-up in class.” Mr. Dink, and I just glowered at him. I was thinking about protesting and remembered the day before. Mouthing off did no good. I sighed as I kept my mouth shut.

When the afternoon came all three of us were sent down to the boot camp. We were met by Mam.

“So you have been misbehaving girls. That’s not good.” She said as she showed us into the indoor facility. I noticed that the boys from the previous detention were there today again. I just smiled. I hated detention, but there was one thing that made it bearable. My friends. I sat down next to Ryan and helped him cleaning boots. Amber and Zandra just stared at me, which made Mam yell at them.

“GET TO WORK GIRLIES!” this made them jump and hurry over to me. They settled down with a pair of shoes each and started to clean them. I just giggled.

“Work and stay quiet.” Mam said and left us.

“So detention again Trudy. How come?” Ryan asked quietly as he worked on a boot.

“Mouthing off isn’t a smart thing to do. Nor helping Zan with her make-up.” I said smiling as I pointed over at Zandra whom was staring at Lex. She looked like she recognized him. Amber was mostly focused on the boots, but she glanced up at Lex from time to time. Every time I looked over at Lex, he looked down. This annoyed me.

“I know, that’s what got us detention for a week.” Ryan said as he put one shoe away and grabbed the second one.

“Ah, and Lex stop staring at me and then pretend you aren’t.” I said as I shifted boot.

“Lex?” I heard Zandra say and I waited to hear his reply.

“Yeah.” He said shortly as he looked up at Zandra. “Do I know you?”

“Yeah, it’s me Zandra. Remember, we went to kindergarten together, before my family moved.” She said which made me giggle. “Zan don’t waste your breath.” I said as I went back to focusing on the boot I was working on.

“Oh really, well you’ve grown up.” I heard Lex say, I just rolled my eyes.

“Guys, quiet.” I said in a hushed voice. We were all sitting silently working, as the door opened. It was Mam, she was back. She checked up on us. She observed us closely, the only reason I knew this is that when she was walking closer I stole sideway glances of her. Amber on the other hand was glancing up at Lex from time to time.

“Focus on your work Miss Martins, if you do not want more detention.” Mam told Amber when she spotted her eyeing Lex.

When Mam had left, we were talking to each other again, but this time in a lot more hushed voices. Amber and Lex were talking to each other while Zandra, me and Ryan were speaking. Well Zandra was mostly quiet while me and Ryan spoke. This time we spoke more about our families, even if it was a sore subject, since we didn’t know if we would ever see our families again.

“Girls it is dinner time.” Mr. Dink said as he came and got us. We had polished and cleaned half of the pair of boots we had been assigned, when he came and got us after two whole hours of cleaning, thankfully the company had made the time fly away.

While we were eating dinner the headmaster announced that there was to be a dance, the following evening. They said it was so that we could have some fun. I didn’t care why they were arranging it, we all had a chance to get dressed up and look pretty.

“Zan, you have to do my hair and make-up.” Both me and Amber said at the same time which caused us to burst out in laughter. This also of course made Zandra start laughing.

It was Saturday morning, and that night was the night of the Dance. The boys would all be coming over, and the dance would be held in our huge dining hall. Zandra and I and of course Amber were in Zandra and Amber’s room trying out Zandra’s dresses. She was the only one of us who had brought dresses. I ended up wearing a red dress with spaghetti straps, with a red cute leather jacket over it. Zandra was wearing a dark purple dress, strapless with a shawl draped around her shoulders, while Amber was wearing a light blue dress, that wasn’t as feminine as the one me and Zandra was wearing. Zandra did two braids that started at the front of my head just above my ears, and went to the back on the head, and gathered up my long brown hair into a ponytail braid. Amber’s blonde hair was up in knots, twelve of them. Zandra herself put her hair in two buns which made her look like Minnie Mouse. Our make-up was subtle and matched our outfits. When we were all done it was time for the dance. We had skipped lunch.

The dining hall looked beautiful with different colored lights, and the tables pushed up against the walls with food, decorations and drinks.

The boys were already there, and the adults who supervised us were Mam, and Mr. Dink. Amber sought out Lex, and I Ryan. Amber just danced with Lex, and then she hung out with him and Zandra mostly. Me and Ryan were mostly dancing around the room, but when we had gotten Zandra and Lex to create a diversion for us, we suck out, down to the boot camp that was completely empty. We snuck into the indoor practice room, kissing. It didn’t take us long for it to lead a lot further. We ended up on the floor tumbling around kissing at first. Ryan kissed my shoulders as I helped him unbutton his pants.

Half an hour later, I was fixing the dress, making sure if looked as it should, and Ryan was buttoning his pants, and shirt. Thankfully, my hair looked the same as it had done before, the same couldn’t be said for my make-up. We made our way back up to the school, the dance was still going on. I snuck into the bathroom and checked my make-up and fixed it. Thankfully Zandra had put it in a bag and hid it in the bathroom, if it would be needed. So I fixed my make-up and headed back in to the dining hall. Me and Ryan went back to dancing, and talking quietly.

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trudyryanchapter1 (kopia)
“Trudy?” a voice asked. As I opened my eyes and searched for where the voice came from, I found Glenn. The new comer. I didn’t like him, he creeped me out. But he was Zandra’s friend.

“M’okay.” I said as I pulled myself up to a sitting. It had been over two months since the dance.

After the dance Mam had got Amber sent away. She told our principal Mr. Addams, that Amber had been making out with one of the boys, and that both the boy and Amber should be sent away, I had overheard them when I was heading to the toilet in the middle of the night. The teachers and boot camp leaders had started to drop like flies about two weeks after the dance. It surprised us all, since we hadn’t heard much about the Virus, until I found a stack of papers and showed them the front page, with the text, “Virus Death Toll Rising.” I never bothered to read the whole article.

“That’s good.” Glenn said as he went off. I didn’t know where, but I could guess, to speak to Zandra.

“You’re awake.” Ryan said smiling as he entered the room, I just nodded. As I looked at him I noticed the tinned cans of food.

“Here’s some beans.” Ryan said as he handed me the tin and a spoon. Yum, cold beans again. I thought to myself as I ate a spoonful. As I swallowed it, I could feel how my stomach was turning and a few seconds later I threw it up. It wasn’t the first time I’d thrown up during the morning.

“I’m sorry.” I said to Ryan. Who had moved and was standing behind me. He had seen how I was about to throw up.

“It’s okay, you can’t help it. You’re sick.” Ryan said as he squatted down and put his hand on my back, and rubbed it gently.

“I’m not so sure about that. Cause if I was sick, then wouldn’t you guys also be sick?” I asked Ryan who just shrugged his shoulders. I was lying on my back again, still feeling nauseous. I was trying to think of a reason why.

“Not necessarily.” Zandra said as she entered the area where I was lying on a sofa.

“What do you mean Zan?” I asked and looked over at her. Ryan had scooped my up so I was lying in his lap.

“Well what if you aren’t sick.” Zandra said as she came up to me. I had told her about me and Ryan and what we’d done during the dance.

“Then what could it be?” I asked still looking at her.

“Well, remember about two months ago? At the dance?” Zandra asked and I nodded, as it dawned on me what she was talking about.

“You think…” I trailed off staring in disbelief at Zandra.

“Yeah.” Zandra said as she lifted my feet and sat down on the sofa next to Ryan.

“What are you talking about?” Ryan asked us looking baffled. At this point Lex and Glenn came in.

“Nothing.” Both me and Zandra said giggling.

“What’s so funny?” Lex demanded and looked at Ryan who just shrugged, since he hadn’t figured out what Zandra and I had been talking about yet.

“None of your beeswax.” I pointed out to Lex as I pulled myself up a bit more, so that Zandra could fit better in the sofa. Preferably I wanted to be alone with Ryan, but that wouldn’t happen any time soon. As the time passed by we stayed on the move, searching for new shelter and more food each day and sometimes we stayed for a few days. We were on our way back to the city we had all grown up in. With Zandra’s help I’d cut off my hair and colored it purple, Lex had let his hair grow out. While Ryan kept cropping his off. Zandra had colored a quarter of her hair neon pink, and on quarter blue. It looked funny, but if we said anything about it, she’d snap. And as the months passed, I grew bigger, but luckily, with Zandra’s help, I managed to hide it quite well, always wearing loosely fitted dresses. The latest one I wore was brown, with a green trim. With a furry sweater. I was also wearing a pair of green pants. Zandra on the other hand was dressed in a knitted sweater and pants with a skirt and a west of some sort. Ryan wore cameo pants and a hoodie, while Lex wore colorful clothes.

We had been on the move for several of months, I’d lost track of the time quite soon it bothered me, I wasn’t sure but I thought about five or six months had passed. Never staying in one place for more than a few days. It was tiring, especially since we didn’t have much food, even though we didn’t have much food, I was still huge. And it was getting harder to hide. We were at the city limits. The neighborhood where I’d lived. We were in the house I’d grown up in, it didn’t look the same anymore. It’d been completely looted.

When we were in the house we spoke of what to do next. Lex said he’d arrange something with the Locos. I didn’t trust Lex one bit. I knew him too good. We’d have to head to sector nine the following day. It bothered me. It was the Locos territory. It meant that we’d have to run a lot, most likely.

“Come on, let’s get going.” Lex said after a while. He was sick of waiting, I could tell from his stance. Me I was sick of listening to him. I just rolled my eyes as Zandra helped me up from the sofa. She knew that I was having slight problems with getting up from sitting.

“You should tell him.” Zandra whispered in my ear as she hugged me.

“I know.” I whispered back as we departed laughingly from each other. The boys just stared at us.

“What was that about?” Glenn asked as he poked his head in through the door, he was standing guard.

“Nothing.” Both me and Zandra said simultaneously which sent us in to a giggling fit.

“We need to leave, the Roosters are moving in.” Glenn said as he entered the living room where me and Zandra were standing talking, Lex and Ryan were still sprawled on the floor. Well Lex wasn’t sprawled out on the floor, he was crouching down next to Ryan.

“Since the Roosters are coming here, we need to split.” Lex said as he straightened up. Ryan was fast up on his feet. Zandra and I just grabbed our bags and went up to the boys. We left the house the same way we’d entered it, through the broken high window in the kitchen, it went from the floor to the roof. I had some trouble getting out of the window since I wasn’t exactly thin anymore. As we were walking I was thinking over the fact that I was pregnant, I still hadn’t told Ryan, even though I knew I would have to. I was mostly just wishing that I hadn’t told Zandra, because if I knew her right, she’d be pressuring me to tell him, and she was and had been for the past couple of days. I just ignored her as best as I could. When we were outside again I stayed behind, for a few seconds, long enough to get a reaction from Ryan. He came up to me and took my face in his hands and locked his eyes to mine and asked “Are you okay?” I just closed my eyes and sighed. As I opened my eyes again I said a sincere “Yes. I am fine Ryan.” The baby was kicking my bladder, and it wasn’t the most comfortable feeling in the world.

“Come on, let’s catch up with the others.” I said as I grabbed Ryan’s hand and hurried after Lex, Zandra and Glenn, they hadn’t gotten too far. Just after we’d reached them, we all hid in bushes, because three members of the Roosters were coming toward us, and we would be considered strays. This meant, if we were caught, it wouldn’t be fun.

When the Roosters had passed us we headed toward the city, it didn’t take us long. About two hours, we were at the railway yard waiting for the Locos. Lex had taken off before us and he had found us sitting, eating in an old warehouse half an hour ago, and told us we had to get to the railway yard soon. I’ just rolled my eyes, but did not comment on it. We were now standing around in an old train cart that was completely broken and it had most likely been burned down, it had scorch marks all over. I was leaning against one of the broken windows sitting there, Ryan was standing next to me with his arm around me. Glenn and Lex were fighting to Zandra’s despair. She was urging Ryan to do something, but he didn’t. He was staying put next to me.

“They’re here.” Lex finally said and pushed Glenn off of himself. Lex did all the talking which suited me, since I was focusing on staying on my feet, which were hurting.

“Ryan, the bag.” Lex said and handed the bag of food to Zoot, and mouthed run to us. Zandra made sure to help me down from the train and then we all ran. It didn’t take long until we had to climb a fence, Ryan and Glenn helped me over, then I saw Lex make sure that Glenn couldn’t get over. I pretended like I hadn’t seen it, and ran with Ryan. It didn’t take long until we reached a place we thought were safe. The only reason we found it was because we heard a dog bark.

We found a playground with kids and a golden retriever.

“I’ll share out the food.” a blonde with knots on her head said to a red head and a younger guy.

“You just better friend.” Lex said which didn’t surprise me. I hung back with Ryan, not wanting to be spotted.

“You see I own this sector.” Lex said as he circled around and the blonde girl with the knots was now standing just in front of Zandra, with her back to us.

“I don’t recognize your tribe.” I guessed it was the blonde that said it since the others looked scared and were quiet. Two young girls and a boy, one of the girls were holding a teddy bear and the dog. The other one was hugging the boy, I guessed they were brother and sister. Ryan hurried over to Lex, and I saw why.

“Lex, Locos.” Lex said as we ran head over heels the way we’d come. It didn’t take long until we were faced with Demon Dogs. We hid behind a bunch of trashcans, because when the Locos saw the Demon Dogs, they forgot about us and fought each other, which gave us an opportunity to get away.

“What’s up there?” Lex asked as Ryan came back. He’d scouted a car park.

“Nothing.” he said as he came closer.

“We should head to sector 12 while it’s still light.” Lex said as he started to walk, he kicked something, a can, and picked up a hat.

“Follow me.” Was all Lex said and led us in to the car park, and soon enough we were inside a mall. We found the kids from the playground. We could hear what they were saying.

“Dal, this is Patsy, and Paul. Patsy does all the talking, I think Paul is shy.” Amber said and just as that moment the boy spoke.

“I’m deaf, not dumb.”

“What does that mean?” the red head asked.

“Trouble.” the boy who was dark skinned and standing said, and at this moment Lex walked forward and said

“So where were we?” At this point a gate fell down in front of us.

“You’ll regret doing that.” Lex said and turned around and we all tried to leave, when a second gate fell down. We were trapped.

chapter 2 trudyryan (kopia)
“You’re wasting your breath Lex.” I said as I slumped down on the sofa. It felt nice to be sitting down, resting my feet.

“We’re not letting you out.” came the voice of the blonde with the knots again. I wasn’t paying much attention, because I was thinking over the rendezvous with the blonde earlier that day. She reminded me of someone.

“Hey Zan.” I said as I grabbed her hand.

“Yeah.” Zandra answered as she sat down on the sofa and put my feet in her lap.

“Don’t you recognize the blonde?” I asked her as I studied the blonde’s face. Zandra just shrugged, and she looked up at the girl.

“I’m not sure, it looks like Amber, doesn’t it?” Zandra asked me and I nodded.

“How are we going to get out of here?” I asked as I sought out Ryan’s eyes with mine, but he was talking to Lex.

The next morning

“What’s your name?” I called up to the blonde as I saw her leaning against the railing on the second floor with the red headed boy.

“I’m Amber.” She said, which confirmed my suspicions. It was Amber Martins, one of my friends, I wasn’t as close to her as Zandra was though.

“Don’t you recognize me?” I asked as I struggled with getting of the sofa, until Zandra helped me.

“Why should I?” Amber answered and I just sighed. I remembered that I had most likely changed in the past nine or so months, so had Amber, and Zandra, and the boys.

“Because you and Zandra always hung out with me at the school.” I said as I looked up again. It looked like something dawned on Amber’s face, and she was heading down the stairs.

“Trudy?” she asked as she reached the gate and I just nodded, and before I knew it Lex had moved me aside.

“Let us out of here.” He said forcefully and I just rolled my eyes and said:

“Lex, shut up.”

“Amber, ignore Lex. He isn’t going to do anything.” I said and turned around and glared at Lex. He just nodded.

“I know Lex tried to steal your food, but only because the idiot handed our food over to the Locos. But he is strong, and has protected me and Zan for several of months now.” I said as I glared at Lex. He was an ass at times, but he was still a friend, and helped protect us.

“Can you promise me that he won’t do anything?” Amber asked me as she stared at Lex.

“Yes, because he knows what will happen if he does. Don’t you Lex?” I asked turned to him and stared. I knew Lex was trying to think of an answer, but he knew me too well to argue with me. I had almost neutered him once, and he hadn’t liked it then. Lex just ended up nodding.

“See, now why don’t you let us in Amber. Me and Zan are your friends. And anyways, they can help guard us.” I said as I stood close to the gate. Ryan had come up behind me and wrapped his arm around me. He and I had stayed a couple since the dance, we had fallen for each other. Deeply.

“Okay. But if he tries anything he’s out.” Amber said as she headed back up the stairs.

“Jack.” Amber called as the scrawny red headed boy came out from what had been a food court. The gate was lifted and we were out. I stalked up the stairs to Amber. I had a few things to ask her.

“So Amber, why did you leave the school? I overheard Mam’s conversation with the principal.” I said as I slumped down on a chair. I put my feet up on another chair. Where they stayed for three seconds. Ryan lifted my feet up and placed them in his knee. He removed my shoes, he knew that my feet were hurting, I’d told him. He was massaging my feet which relived the pain.

“I didn’t leave. I was shipped off. Only because the evil witch lied about what I was doing. All I did was talk to Lex. She reported that I’d been doing more.” Amber said in a frustrated tone of voice, which made me cringe slightly. It was me who had socialized with a boy, not Amber. I had an idea of why Amber’d been sent off.

“Lex, were you flirting with your instructor?” I asked as I stared in disbelief at him. I couldn’t believe that he would hit on every female with a heartbeat. He’d tried it with me several of times. The last time I’d almost neutered him. If I’d hold on for any longer, he would’ve been neutered.

“No.” Lex answered as he came up the stairs. I just glared at him. I decided not to push it at this time.

“I’m starving.” I said as Ryan tried to put my shoes back on. That didn’t work too well. My feet had swollen.

“Your shoes won’t fit.” Ryan commented even though it was obvious.

“S’okay. Just leave them on the floor.” I said as I tried to lean forward, which didn’t really work seeing as I had a huge, hidden belly in the way. I wasn’t sure of how hidden it actually was, but neither Lex nor Ryan had noticed it, yet.

“How about some beans and hotdogs?” Amber asked as she disappeared behind a red cupboard door.

“That sounds delicious.” I said as I put my feet on the floor and got up from my seat. I peaked around the corner to see how the café looked like. I was planning to tell Ryan that he was going to be a dad, but I kept putting it off, for fear of him leaving. I didn’t want to be alone. Well I wouldn’t be alone, I had friends, but I loved Ryan, and didn’t want him to leave.

After we’d eaten, the little kid, whose hat Lex’d found said that he heard something. But he was deaf, so I didn’t quite understand how. I didn’t bother to stick around. I was bored, and needed to tell Ryan something important, so I grabbed his arm and went down the stairs to one of the stores where no one was. I wanted some privacy with Ryan.

“I love you Ryan.” I said as I put my arms around him and he put his around me.

“I love you too Trude.” Ryan whispered in my ear, I just giggled since his breath tickled me. We were hugging when I heard the dog bark. Ryan and I parted and went to find the dog. What we found instead was the dog and a boy, about Ryan’s age.

“Who are you?” I asked as I looked the boy over.

“A friend.” he answered, but I didn’t like him. And since Bob, the dog, had barked the rest of our little tribe were coming down the stairs. I could hear them, and Bob was still growling. Ryan had gone over to the boy and was holding him firmly, making sure he wouldn’t get away.

“What’s going on here?” Amber asked as she came in to view.

“We found him lurking in the shadows, but we wouldn’t have found him if Bob hadn’t barked.” I said as I walked closer to Amber, Lex had come too, and he was looking at the boy Ryan was holding.

“Who are you?” Amber asked as she walked closer. I thought I recognized the boy, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

“I’m Bray. I need shelter for the night.” the brown haired boy said that was in Ryan’s grasp.

“Oh really?” I asked skeptically.

“Yes.” Bray said as he tried to wriggle his way out of Ryan’s grasp, which proved to fail seeing as Ryan only tightened the grip.

“I know you.” I said after some pondering, I had been in the same class as his younger brother, and I’d seen the two speaking during lunch breaks.

“What?” Bray asked with confusion in his voice.

“Your brother Martin, he and I went in the same class.” I said which shocked everyone.

“What?” I asked as I saw their faces, the only one who wasn’t surprised was Ryan, and Zandra. “It was like over a year ago since I last saw them, cause I was shipped off to a private school out in the country.” I added while I kept my eyes on Bray.

“If you know him, can we trust him?” Amber asked looking at me. I just shrugged my shoulders and said: “I don’t know, I haven’t seen him for almost a year.”

“It’s okay Trude.” Ryan said as he let go of Bray and came over to me, standing behind me, wrapping his arms around me. At just this precise the baby decided to kick, Ryan felt it.

“What was that?” he asked and I just shook my head as I said, “Not here.” and trudged off. I had a hold of Ryan’s hand, and he followed me willingly. The others were probably staring after us, I just didn’t care what so ever. I didn’t stop until I was sure that we were out of earshot.

I’d just gone off with Ryan to tell him that I was pregnant when my water broke, and the pain in my abdomen was extreme, I barely managed to say anything.

“Why’d you pull me down here?” Ryan asked, and I just smiled. We were close to the sewer entrance, I could feel the smell, it was making me nauseous, but I ignored it.

“I have something to tell you.” Was all I had time to say before I screamed out in pain.

“What’s wrong?” Ryan asked me, and I grabbed him, so I wouldn’t fall over from the pain. Everyone had obviously heard me and was on their way. I distorted my face in pain once more, on the floor there was fluids.

“My water’s broken.” was all I got out before I screeched out in pain again.

“Ryan.” I panted.

“It’s okay, I’m right here.” Ryan said picking me up.

“It’s yours.” was all I got out before I screamed again. The labor pains were frequent and strong. I’d been having a mild cramp on and off throughout the day, but I’d thought it was just gas, because it had gone away when I’d farted.

“What do you mean?” I heard Ryan ask, but then I passed out before I could answer. When I woke up again I was in a bed.

“It’s okay Trude, we’re here.” Both Zandra and Ryan said as I came to moaning. I could see them. I could also see on Ryan’s face that he didn’t want to be here. I looked at him pleadingly.

“If you want me to stay, then I’m not leaving.” he said, which made me smile slightly, but I lost the smile quite fast as I screamed again because of the pain.

“It’s okay Trudy, now everyone out.” I heard Amber say, but since I was holding on to Ryan’s hand, he couldn’t leave. Amber realized this. So she made sure that it was just her and Ryan in there. I screamed once more, because I had another contraction.

“Amber, they’re more frequent.” Ryan said meekly, I could see the fear in his face. I didn’t know what it was he was afraid of.

OURSEcretfamilchap3 (kopia)
I was disoriented and exhausted. I’d been pushing for a long time, I didn’t know how long. It felt like forever.

“Come on Trude, one more push.” was said to me, I thought it was Amber, it sounded like her at least.

“I can’t.” I whined weakly while both Amber and Ryan urged me on. I was weak and exhausted. I had been drifting back and forth between consciousness and unconsciousness.

“Come one Trudy. You can do it.” I heard Ryan say. I did my best and pushed as much as I could, and of course I screamed out in pain from the effort. The next thing I know is Ryan holding the baby.

“It’s a girl.” I heard Amber say from somewhere outside the furniture store. I guessed she told the others because what I heard next was cheering. The baby was crying, I could hear her.

“You’re awake.” Ryan said as he sat down next to me on the bed. I just nodded. Amber was back in the room. She looked at Ryan and then at me.

“Whose is she?” Amber asked and I just shrugged my shoulders as an answer. Ryan handed me that baby.

“You don’t know?” Amber prodded, she was obviously curious.

“No.” I lied, I did know who the father was, he was sitting right next to me, but I didn’t think it was any of their business. Ryan just looked at me. I knew he had a question for me.

“Okay. Well are you ready for the rebel?” Amber asked as she looked at me. I just nodded. I didn’t feel like speaking much. Everyone came in, and Ryan refused to leave me, he was still sitting next to me on the bed. Everyone came in, Paul and Patsy first, followed by Zandra and a very reluctant Lex, he actually just poked his head through the doorway and then left again. After Zandra came Salene with Dal and Jack. Bob the dog wasn’t allowed in.

“We have presents for you and the baby, Trudy.” Patsy said as she handed me some chocolates. I smiled weakly and thanked her.

“Mine’s a scale, so you can see if the baby puts on weight.” Salene said as Jack put the scale on the floor. Dal had brought a basket that could be used as a cot.

“Thank you Dal.” I said and smiled.

“Now, give her some room. Trudy and the baby need sleep.” Amber said as she told everyone to leave. She also tried to get Ryan to leave, but it was impossible.

“I am not leaving, she’s my girlfriend.” Ryan told Amber and I just smiled, I didn’t want him to leave so I said:

“It’s okay Amber. I don’t want him to leave.”

“Okay. I’ll be in the café.” Amber said as she left.

“So, you going to tell me what you meant earlier?” Ryan asked me and I just shrugged my shoulders as I carefully put the baby down in the basket, with some help from Ryan. It didn’t take me long to fall asleep. When I woke up, I wasn’t in the furniture store anymore. I’d gotten my own room. It was in the kitchenware store. My bed was placed with the headboard against the wall that connected the kitchenware to the furniture store. The basket with my daughter in it was to my right, and Ryan was lying to my left. The bed was cramped, but I didn’t mind. Ryan was snoring ever so slightly. My daughter was awake. So I picked her up.

“Hi baby. What should I name you?” I asked her, but she couldn’t exactly answer me. And I didn’t know what I should name her. I knew I’d have to ponder it for a while. I put my baby girl back into her cot as I rolled over and pulled Ryan’s arm around me.

(Trudy gets puerperal fever, treatment megacillin a sort of antibiotics)

Zandra’s POV

“Trudy?” I asked as I walked over to the kitchenware store.

“Come on in.” I heard Ryan answer. So I entered the room.

“How is she?” I asked as I pushed the drape aside.

“She’s fine. So is the baby.” Ryan said as he looked over at Trudy and then to the baby that was in its cot.

“That’s good.” I said as I looked over at the two sleeping girls.

“Is there are reason for you being here Zan?” Ryan asked me, and there was but I didn’t want to be the one to tell him, it had to come from Trudy. I was just thinking of what she had told me after the dance, and what we had talked about a couple of months back. When Trudy had thought she was just ill, she hadn’t thought of the fact that she might be pregnant until I told her. I was trying to think of something to tell Ryan, so I said what I thought of.

“Well it’s breakfast time, and I thought you might be hungry.” I said as I retreated out of the room and headed to the café.

“Well I am hungry, but I don’t want to leave Trudy and the baby.” Ryan said to me before I left, so I’d told him I could bring him some food.

Well in the café, Amber came up to me.

“So did you know that Trudy was pregnant?” Amber asked me straight out, she knew that me and Trudy were best friends.

“That’s my business and my business alone.” I answered as I took two bowls and filled with some food that Salene had heated up, it was beans and tinned meat.

“Here’s some food Ryan.” I said as I entered the room he shared with Trudy. He had all his stuff in there, scattered around on a wicker chair.

“Thanks Zandra. You’re the best friend one can ask for.” Ryan said as he took the bowls from me, he set one down on the chair beside the bed and the other one he ate himself. Trudy was stirring, mumbling something.

“You’re welcome.” I said as I left again. I went to the kitchen to eat myself.

“Zan?” Amber asked as she sat down next to me.

“No.” I answered as I ate my food. As I ate I saw Ryan coming out of the room with one of the bowls, so I guessed the Trudy was awake.

When I’d finished my breakfast, I headed back to Trudy’s room, I wanted to talk to her.

“Hey Zan.” Trudy said meekly as I entered the room. Ryan was there, fussing over the baby.

“Hi Trude, Ryan. Do you mind if I talk to Trudy alone?” I asked and looked at Ryan. He nodded and took the baby with him when he left.

“Did you tell him?” I asked Trudy as I sat down on the bed next to her.

“I’m not sure if he understood what I meant though.” Trudy answered as she yawned.

“Are you okay?” I asked Trudy concerned. She looked like she was sweating.

“Yeah. I’m just a bit cold.” Trudy answered, which I found a bit odd. I put my hand on her forehead. It felt warm to me.

“Amber?” I called, which got both Amber and Ryan to come running in to the room. Ryan because he was worried something was wrong with Trudy, and Amber because I’d asked for her.

“What is it?” Amber asked as she entered the room.

“I think Trudy’s ill.” I said as I moved away from the bed.

“Zandra, go and get Dal. And ask him to bring the thermometer.” Amber said, and I did what I was told. A few minutes later Trudy had the thermometer in her mouth.

“She has a fever.” Dal concluded as he looked at the thermometer.

“That’s not good.” I said as I looked over at Trudy from where I was standing. Ryan had put the little baby in the cot and he himself was sitting on the wicker chair next to the bed.

“What’s Trudy saying?” I asked, since I couldn’t hear it clearly. All I could hear was mumbling.

“She’s rambling about death.” Dal said as he took the thermometer out of Trudy’s mouth.

“What could it be?” Amber asked Dal who just shrugged his shoulders. This looked to bug Amber, but I kept my mouth shut.

“Let’s go and see if we can find anything useful in the magazine shop.” Amber said and took Dal with her, while Ryan nursed the baby that had started to cry again. I didn’t want to stay in the room with Trudy since sick people made me feel sick too. I stalked around the mall for a bit. I soon enough ended up at the café, where Ryan was sitting trying to soothe the crying baby. It didn’t work.

“She’s probably hungry.” I said as I sat down on a chair next to Ryan.

“Yeah, but it’s not like Trudy can feed her.” Ryan said and sighed as he did everything he could to try and get the baby to stop crying.

“Of course not, she’s ill.” I said as I looked at the curtain in front of the doorway to the store where Trudy was. Amber just walked out of the room.

“Dal do you really think it’s safe to go there?” I heard Amber ask Dal. He just shrugged his shoulders as he said;

“I have to, Trudy needs the meds, or she might die.” I didn’t ask what it was about, I just kept quiet. The Bray guy who had shown up just before Trudy went into labor was still in the mall. We had voted him in to stay while Trudy slept after the birth.

I saw Dal head down the stairs, I figured he was heading outside to find something that was needed.

“Ryan you can go back into Trudy now.” Amber said before she went back inside Trudy’s room.

“Hang on Amber.” I said and hurried over to her.

“What?” she asked a bit annoyed.

“What’s wrong with Trudy?” I asked as Ryan came walking toward us.

“She has puerperal fever, it’s a fever that new moms get due to lack of hygiene.” Amber said as she entered Trudy’s room. Ryan had already gone in there and was sitting next to Trudy. The baby was quiet for the time being because she was sucking at Ryan’s finger. He had apparently given her a bath, because she was a lot cleaner.

“How do you treat it?” I asked curiously as I helped Amber and Ryan to change the sheets in the bed, they were soaking wet.

“With antibiotics, that’s why Dal left. He went to his father’s old surgery in sector 15.” Amber said as we put Trudy back down on the clean and dry sheets. Amber had brought a bowl of cold water in to the room earlier and was dabbing Trudy’s forehead with a cold cloth, to keep her from overheating.

“That’s crazy. It’s one of the many Loco hang outs.” Ryan said as put the baby down, it wasn’t a smart move, because a few seconds later she was crying again, so Ryan just picked her up again.

“I’ll go and see if there are any antibiotics in the pharmacy.” I said but before I had a chance to leave Amber told me that she and Dal had looked, and it’d been looted already. I still left the room, and Ryan had apparently followed me. Because when I headed down the stairs I spotted him walking around along the railing on the second floor. Me, I was searching for Lex, who’d gone awol with the kids. It didn’t take me long to find the kids, they were playing with a ball and the dog. Lex however was bothering Jack about batteries for the laptop.

“Where’re the batteries nerd.” I heard Lex say and just rolled my eyes as I entered the room where they were.

“Lex, there are none left.” Jack said I snickered as I entered the room.

“Now Lex, play nice.” I said smirking.

“I always play nice.” Lex said smirking as he walked towards me. He tried to kiss me, but I moved away so he kissed air.

“I GOT IT!” was heard and echoed throughout the mall. It was Dal, he had obviously found the medicine needed to save Trudy. I hurried up the stairs and followed him into Trudy and Ryan’s room.

“How much should we give her?” Amber asked Dal.

“2 tablets should be enough I reckon.” Dal said as he looked at the bottle. I didn’t really know what to say.

“Sounds about right, it’s a safe amount and it’s enough to have effect.” Amber said as she stretched, she made us all leave, except Ryan, who was taking care of the baby. I knew why. Even if Ryan didn’t know why at the time.

I didn’t want to leave, but I had no choice. I felt for Trudy, being sick and all. It was growing dark and I had moved myself to the lingerie store since Patsy and Paul had been sick, they’d stuffed themselves with candy they said they’d found in the back of the sweet shop. Greedy little kids.

“Knock, knock.” A male voice said, which made me turn around. It was the new guy, Bray.

“Hey.” I said as I buttoned up my cardigan. When I’d helped with Trudy I’d become soaked and had to change clothes.

“So what have you been up to today?” Bray asked me and I just rolled my eyes as I sat down on my bed.

“What do you want?” I asked as I glared at him.

“Just curious.” Bray said smirking slightly, which made it creep in my whole body.

“Will you leave?” I asked him and he shrugged his shoulders, turned around and left.

The Next Morning.

I was awoken by the baby’s cry. I look at myself in the mirror, I arranged my hair so it sat tight to my skull, and did two curls, one on each side that was held up by clips. And the rest was gathered up into two messy ponytails. When I’d made my make-up better I went to the café. There on the table, a can of formula was standing. I lifted my eyebrow, and then I spotted Bray.

“I was out looking for supplies for the baby, and found some things. Nappies, formula and a bottle.” Bray said as he picked up the other items from his bag.

“Why? We have a baby store over there.” I said and pointed to the store as I grabbed the bottle. I opened the can of formula and put it into the bottle and then poured water into it. I shook it good and then heated it up by putting it in a pot of water. I checked it every now and then to see if it was warm enough. While I was doing this Ryan had entered the café with the crying baby.

“Look what Bray got for the baby Ryan, even though we have a baby store.” I said as I walked over to him and handed him the bottle. I’d made sure it wasn’t too hot.

“What’s that?” he asked and I rolled my eyes and explained.

“It’s formula, for the baby.” Ryan nodded and took the bottle and gave it to the baby girl who drank it greedily. She was obviously hungry. Amber came and joined us.

“Where did all the stuff come from?” she asked as she looked at the baby things on the table.

“Bray went outside and got it for us.” I said smiling as I picked it up and helped Ryan carry it in to his and Trudy’s room.

“Trudy seems better.” I said as I looked at her. She was opening her eyes.

“Welcome back.” Ryan said as he put the baby down into its cot.

“Where did I go?” Trudy asked meekly as she looked around the room. It was just me and Ryan in there.

“You were ill. Very ill. We thought we’d lost you. But Dal saved your life.” Ryan said as he sat down on the bed and pulled Trudy up to a half sitting.


“You got a fever new moms get sometimes. But it’s okay. Dal got you antibiotics, so you should be well soon.” I said as Ryan took the empty bottle from the baby.

“Don’t forget to burp her.” I said as I smiled to Trudy who smiled weakly back at me. At my remark Ryan picked the baby up again.

“How?” he asked and I just stretched my arms out and he handed her to me. I got her to burp in no time.

“Like that.” I said as I handed the baby back to Ryan.

“Trudy, do you know what you want to call your little girl?” I asked and looked over at the baby and then to Trudy.

“Yes. Taryn.” Trudy said smiling.

“That’s a beautiful name.” I said as I realized that it was wordplay on Trudy and Ryan, but not with the letters in the right order. T and R from Trudy and A, Y and N from Ryan.

Trudy’s point of view

I felt weak. I was apparently sick. Some kind of fever. All I remembered was giving birth to my wonderful sweet little Taryn. It looked like Ryan had been looking after her. Zandra just left the room.

“Knock, knock.” I heard Amber say and I just smiled. Ryan was sitting next to me in the bed, holding Taryn.

“Come on in.” he called.

“I see you are better now.” Amber said smiling as she entered the room.

“Yes. I heard Dal went to sector 15. That’s suicide.” I said as I leaned on Ryan’s shoulder. I was still tired.

“Yes, but he got the antibiotics that saved your life.” Amber said as she stood close to the doorway.

“I am forever grateful for it, and I will never forget it.” I said and smiled weakly and yawned.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Amber said and left the room. I moved myself down into the bed and turned to my side so I could watch Ryan holding Taryn. It wasn’t before long I was back asleep.

A few days later in the morning

I felt a lot better. I was even excited to hold Taryn. I had gotten her that morning when her cry had waked me up. I guessed that Ryan had gotten her during the night.

“It’s okay. Mummy’s here Taryn.” I said as I held her in my arms. I fed her too while I was at it. It wasn’t the most pleasant feeling. I was glad that the antibiotics had saved me, and that I was off them at last. I’d told the tribe that I’d named Taryn, Taryn. I’d also told them that I didn’t know who Taryn’s father was, even though it was a lie. I felt that it was still none of their business who her father was. All they needed to know was that she was my daughter. I had noticed that it would be hard for them not to notice soon that Taryn’s father is Ryan, because she looks a lot like him, already, and she’s only a week old.

“Good morning.” Ryan said as he was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. I just smiled as I was trying to get Taryn to burp. When Taryn had burped I put her in a stroller that Dal had made for me. It was so sweet of him.

“Ryan?” I asked as I looked at him.

“Yeah.” He answered as he yawned and stood up and stretched himself out.

“You asked what I meant with it’s yours. Well here’s the thing…” I trailed of as the kids and Salene walked past the door. I didn’t want anyone to hear.

“What?” Ryan asked as he faced me, I turned around and fussed with Taryn.

I listened for a short while to make sure no one was close by.

“You’re her dad.” I whispered in Ryan’s ear as he came close to me.

“You said what now?!” Ryan asked surprised and I just smiled as I picked Taryn up.

“You heard me. And think about it. Think about the timing.” Was all I said as I carried Taryn in my arms to keep her satisfied. I went to the café where the others were. And I hoped that Ryan wouldn’t start talk about the fact that he was Taryn’s father. As I sat down in the café Ryan left our room and headed my way. I thought it looked like he had something to say, and he probably had.

“Trudy, can I talk to you?” Ryan asked and I just looked at him. I didn’t want to talk about Taryn at this moment. But I didn’t answer, and before Ryan had time to ask again Lex was bugging me.

“So you interested?” Lex asked me and I glared at him.

“Lex, I won’t hesitate to neuter you if I have to. So take a hike.” I said which earned me laughter from everyone in the café. Lex however was furious and stomped off. I didn’t care. He wasn’t going to keep hitting on me, because I was in love with Ryan.

“Trudy?” Ryan asked to get my attention I nodded and faced him, trying to keep Taryn from crying by letting her suck on my finger, because I couldn’t find her dummy. When Ryan stayed quiet I went back to speaking to Taryn.

“Where’s Bray?” one of the girls asked, I just shrugged my shoulders. I had no idea and I didn’t care.

“Kids, have you seen Bray?” Amber asked them and they just answered with a no.

“Where could he have gone off to?” Amber asked no one in particular. I had grabbed a bowl and was eating cereals. Dry. It wasn’t exactly the tastiest thing to eat, but it was what it was.

“There you are!” Zandra said as she came walking over to me.

“Here I am.” I answered as I ate more of the dry cereal and at the same time tried to keep Taryn happy, it wasn’t working, because she was starting to fuss.

“Have you talked?” Zandra asked, and I knew instantly what she meant so I nodded smiling.

“So what do you want Zan?” I asked as I was trying to keep Taryn from crying but it wasn’t working. Ryan had gone off and was now back, with a stroller. I put her in it and rolled the stroller back and forth with my foot while I ate. It helped fairly well to have a stroller to put Taryn in.

“Ryan?” I asked as I looked up, he was sitting next to me, stuffing his face with cereals.

“Yeah.” he said with food in his mouth.

“Manners Ryan.” I heard Zandra say before I managed to ask him where he’d gotten the stroller.

“Where did you get the stroller?” I asked when Zandra had turned her attention to something else.

“Over there.” Ryan said and pointed to the baby store that I hadn’t noticed until it’d been pointed out to me.

“Oh, I didn’t know that there was a baby store here.” I said as I looked over at the store. When I’d finished eating my breakfast I headed over to the baby store with Taryn in the stroller. The store was located between the end of the café and the art store. It wasn’t big, but it had a lot of baby clothes at least. This made me happy. It meant that Taryn wouldn’t need to be naked, which she was most of the time, except for the nappy.

“Let’s see if we can find you something to wear.” I said to Taryn as I picked her up from the stroller, but I put her back down in it again, since it would be easier for me to pick out clothes for her. I found a few onesies in some fun patterns. I took them all and put them in the stroller, but first I dressed Taryn in one, there was pink with hearts on it. I thought it was the cutest. When I’d dressed her I put her back in the stroller, I’d also found dummies. I’d given her one. I’d also found some other useful things.

I was stalking around the mall, bored, not knowing what to do, except for feeding Taryn and checking and changing her diaper when needed.

“Trudy?” Amber asked me as I passed the sweet shop, it looked like she was moving in there. I stopped and looked in and said. “Yes.”

“I was wondering, how is Taryn?”

“She’s fine Amber. What do you really want?” I asked scrutinizing her.

“I know you said you didn’t know who Taryn’s father is. But I am still wondering. Could it be Ryan?” Amber asked and I did all I could to keep a straight face so I wouldn’t blow my own lie.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but no.” I said as I left Amber and stalked around the mall some more. I hope that Ryan hadn’t overheard it, but since I hadn’t seen him, I guessed he hadn’t. When I thought of it. I hadn’t seen him since breakfast and it was now dinner time. I’d passed a few hours with reading after lunch when Taryn was asleep.

“Trudy?” someone asked and I looked up from the book and it was Lex.

“What do you want?” I asked a bit annoyed.

“Have you seen Ryan?” he asked me and I just shrugged my shoulders. I still hadn’t seen Ryan.

“Then where is he?” Lex asked and I just stared at him, and at that second Taryn decided to wake up.

“I don’t know, and you woke up Taryn, so leave.” I said as I picked Taryn up from the stroller that I was using as a cot instead of the basket. Lex left, because when I looked up he wasn’t there. I went over to the door opening and pulled the curtain door closed and made sure that the curtain in the window was closed too. I was going to feed Taryn, and I wanted privacy.

“Trudy?” someone asked, it sounded like Salene.

“What is it? I’m busy.” I answered as I looked down at Taryn and switched side.

“I was wondering if you wanted to help with making the dinner.” Salene said and I couldn’t decide. I was a bit distracted. When I’d finished feeding Taryn I was trying to get her to burp, it didn’t take too long thankfully.

“Sure I can help, just let me change Taryn’s nappy.” I said as I put her on the bed and took out the clean nappies and changed her. I’d gotten good at changing her nappy now that it didn’t take me long at all.

“There you go sweetie.” I said to Taryn and put her in the stroller which I took with me out to the café so that I could help with the dinner while keeping an eye on my daughter.

“So, what we making?” I asked as I entered the café.

“I was going to make a pie and gravy.” Salene said, and it looked like she had more to say.

“But I don’t have enough water to make the gravy.” Salene said, and I just smiled.

“We can use my ration.” I said as I helped with making the gravy. It smelled wonderful. Everyone had sat down at the tables in the café, and Ryan had shown up again.

“Where have you been?” I asked and quirked an eyebrow.

“Nowhere in particular.” Ryan answered which bugged me slightly, but I didn’t push it. I was too busy with trying to keep Taryn from crying. She was hungry. Since I didn’t want to feed her around the others. Because of this I went and got the bottle and some formula that Bray had found and made it and warmed it up for Taryn and fed it to her. It kept her quiet and let me eat my dinner.

After dinner I headed to my room with Taryn in the stroller. After I’d burped her, she’d fallen asleep.

“Trudy?” I heard someone ask. I looked up and it was Amber.

“Come in.” I said as I picked up one of the books I’d been reading earlier.

“How is Taryn?” Amber asked and I looked at my sleeping daughter.

“She’s just fine. Growing fast.” I answered as I opened the book and started reading it.

“Did you know Ryan has been spending all of the day outside?” Amber asked me and I looked at her and just shrugged my shoulders and went back to my book.

“I’ll leave you to your book.” Amber said and left.

“Hey.” Ryan said as he entered the room. He closed the curtain after him. To give us privacy. I just smiled as I put down the book. Ryan sat down on the bed and leaned in and kissed me.


“Yes Ryan.” I said smiling with a smile that went from one ear to the other.

“I love you, and Taryn. I want us to be a family.” Ryan said and I was still smiling.

“We are a family already.” I told him with a bright smile.

“I know, but I want to make it official.”

“How?” I said and cocked an eyebrow.

“Well if you’d stop interrupting me.” Ryan started to say when I said sorry.

“It’s okay. But please stay quiet for a second.” Ryan said with some frustration in his voice. I nodded.

“I love you, and I want to spend my life with you, the rest of my life. With you, and our daughter. What I am trying to say is, will you marry me?”

cHAPTER5 osf (kopia)
I didn’t know what to answer, I was taken by surprise. Instead of saying anything I just walked out of the room. I knew how to get up to the roof, and that’s where I headed.

As I reached the roof, I settled down on one of the benches that were placed up there. I looked out over the city, thinking. I knew that I loved Ryan, but I didn’t understand why he was asking me to marry him. I knew that he loved me too, but I was too perplexed by his choice of asking me.

“Trudy?” someone asked, I looked around and spotted Salene.

“Yes.” I said as I turned back to looking out over the city.

“I saw you rush past. And I was wondering if something’s wrong.” Salene said as she sat down next to me. I heaved out a sigh.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just needed time to be alone and think.” I said smiling slightly as I glanced over at the redhead.

“Oh, do you want me to leave?” She asked and I just nodded. A few seconds later I was all alone again. I pulled my knees up against my chest and put my chin on my knees and my arms around them. I was thinking back to the months I’d been hiding my pregnancy, before we’d found this safe haven.


“Trudy?” Ryan said. I was sitting in a corner in the barn we were squatting in that night. It had been about four months since we had left the school and boot camp. We were close to where Zandra’s old friend Glenn was from, we had gone there with him, because he had told us he knew a safe place that would be full of things. I’d been avoiding him for two whole days now, and I guessed it was getting to him.

“Yes.” I answered as I pulled at my shirt, which was getting a bit tight around my stomach. Luckily Ryan didn’t notice it, and even if he did, he didn’t comment on it. None of us had managed to scavenge any clean clothes yet. Seeing as the places we had found had already been looted, sadly enough. The barn we were in right now was an abandoned barn that had just a small outhouse connected to it. I had found that whoever had lived there, had lived up on the loft, because there was a sweet little apartment there, and it hadn’t been looted of food yet, or clothes. I had found a brown dress to wear with a green trim. It was a lot looser than the school uniform. Zandra found some really weird clothes that she got dressed in, and the boys found shirts that they could wear. I was sitting on the bed that was in the corner of the little apartment, eating a tin of beans, cold.

“What are you doing?” Ryan asked and I just rolled my eyes as I took a bite of the beans. It was a wonder that I got to keep them down. I’d been having trouble with keeping food down the last few months, seeing as I actually was pregnant, which little miss Z had pointed out to me.

“Eating, of course. I know. But what I meant was, why have you been avoiding me?” Ryan asked. I stayed quiet for a while, while I was pondering on my answer.

“I haven’t been avoiding you Ryan, it’s just something Lex said.” I said covering up nicely, and it was true, Lex had told me something that’d made me think. A lot.

“What did he say this time?” Ryan asked as he looked me dead in the eye. I was glad that I’d learn to lie well as a child. It helped me at times like these.

“Well you know Lex, the usual.” I said, not really knowing what to say to Ryan.

“You mean he called me fat and dumb for the gazillionth time.” Ryan asked as he came closer to me. I just nodded.

“I need to pee.” I said and moved around Ryan in just a few seconds and avoided his touch. He was still the same shy boy he’d been before we had found out about the virus. Which meant that he seldom hit on me, sure he kissed me from time to time, but mostly only a peck on the cheek or on the forehead because he was embarrassed, for some reason or the other.

When I was on my way out of the toilet I hear Lex and Glenn having a shouting match. Lex and Glenn fighting, as usual. I was so used to them fighting now that I seldom noticed it. Zandra always pleaded for them to stop or asked Ryan to get them to stop. Me I just ignored them until they stopped. Most often they stopped when Lex had smacked Glenn, leaving Zandra mad at everyone but me. Which I found amusing, but only because the boys never learned.

“Trude?” I heard someone call, and I was brought out of my memories, I had left Taryn with Ryan and Zandra had come up to check on me.

“Yea.” I said indicating that she was welcome to stay if she wanted to.

“Taryn was crying.” Zandra said and handed me Taryn. Apparently Ryan hadn’t been able to quiet her down, or Zandra had taken her from him, I guessed that it was the latter.

“Or you wanted an excuse to come up here.” I said reaching out for my daughter, who was handed to me.

“You know me too well.” Zandra answered as she sat down next to me on the bench.

“Yes, so spit it out. What do you want?” I asked looking at Taryn.

“I just want to know why you just rushed out of the mall. And why you went to the roof of all places instead of heading outside.” Zandra said, I glanced up at her, and she was staring at me intently. It bothered me slightly.

“Ryan asked me to marry him.” Was all I said, I didn’t feel like telling Zandra why I’d chosen the roof.

“Aww, what did you say?” Zandra asked me happily and I just stared at her, completely forgetting about Taryn.

“What?!” Zandra asked in surprise. I just rolled my eyes.

“What do you think? I took off before he could ask me again. I need time to think.” I said staring at Zandra who was starting to feel uneasy, I could see it on her face. She got up and hurried away, and at this point Taryn started crying. She was hungry, so I fed her. When I’d burped her I went back to thinking of the past, and started telling Taryn about it.

“You know Taryn, me and your father met only a few days before you were conceived. It was at a dance and it was so much fun. The only thing was, I had to keep you a secret at first. I didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant, until your aunt Zandra found out by mistake.” I said smiling to myself. It was starting to get cold up on the roof, so I headed back inside. But I stayed in the stairway. Still wanting to be alone. I was still trying to decide if I wanted to marry Ryan or not. I loved him, and I knew he loved me, but in this crazy world. I wasn’t too sure if it was such a good idea. I did also know that Zandra would be ecstatic if I did marry Ryan. But I was doubting Ryan’s reasons for wanting to marry me, was it so we would be a family?, or was it because wanted to marry me because he loved me? I didn’t know, and it bothered me. The feeling of not know brought me back to before the virus, when I’d been shipped off, not knowing if my parents were dead or not. It had been horrible, at least I’d had comfort in the fact that everyone around me felt the same way, I wasn’t alone then, not like now. Sure I was surrounded by people, but not a single one of them could understand how I felt. Not even Taryn, who had fallen asleep in my arms. I just watched her for a while. I was determined not to go back in to the mall if I didn’t absolutely had to. It didn’t take long before I was back in the land of the memories.

Lex and Glenn fighting, as usual. We were sitting in an old van, it was warmer in the van than it was outside, seeing as all five of us were huddled up all together, even though the boys weren’t too fond of it. Especially Lex and Glenn, who just kept on bickering and fighting, it was driving me mental, and on top of everything, I was trying to hide my pregnancy. It was getting harder as the months passed by. But I still managed, I knew that Lex didn’t pay any attention to me since the time I’d almost neutered him. I was almost five months ago now. It was before I’d realized I even was pregnant. We had been sitting in an old abandoned store, that hadn’t been looted. Lex had been eyeing me all night and made passes at me.

“So you sure you don’t want to hook up?” He had asked me when Ryan had gone out to take a leak, and Zandra had gone off to find more make-up.

“Ask me one more time and you will see how much I do NOT want to hook up with you.” I said frustrated and put a lot of emphasis on the word not.

It didn’t take long for Lex to make another pass at me. “I warned you.” I said and took a hold of his nut sack and held it tightly, it made Lex squeal like a pig.

“Will you leave me alone?” I asked him seriously, and he just nodded and whined. I let go of him and got up from the floor and went to find Zandra. It didn’t take me long.

Zandra was standing where all the perfume, make-up and other beauty products were. She was stuffing most of the things she wanted in to her bag. The only thing Zandra didn’t put in her bag was hair dye. Or that was what I thought.

“Help me dye my hair Trude.” Zandra said and I of course said yes but I’d given her one condition. If she fixed mine, I’d fix hers.

“How do we look?” I asked the boys as me and Zandra paraded over to the section of candy, where the boys were fighting over the last bar of some weird brand of candy. They stopped when they saw us. My hair was purple, and short and Zandra had done my make-up too, so I looked like her with blue swirls and pink eye shadow. Zandra’s hair however was half brown, and the other half was split up in two, one half in blue and one half in pink. The boys were just staring at us. I burst out in to laughter because of Ryan’s expression, and Zandra started laughing because I was laughing, and probably because all three boys were wearing matching expressions. Looks of surprise. Gawking with their mouths fully open.

“You can close your mouths now.” Zandra said when she had managed to stop laughing, which just made me laugh even more. I hadn’t slept properly, no of us had for the last few days, since we had been sleeping outside. It was before we’d met up with Glenn. Ryan kept finding razors to shave his head with, he kept trimming his hair down to keep it short, it seemed to be the way he liked it. Lex on the other hand, had let his hair grow out, and it was reaching down to his eyebrows, so it was still quite short, at that point. I thought it looked ridiculous but I didn’t say anything, because I knew it’d hurt his feeling.

“Trudy?” someone asked and I was brought back to the present.

“Yes.” I said and looked down the stairs. It was Ryan. I didn’t know what to tell him, so I just stayed quiet.